wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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