Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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