I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
