I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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