Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Found your dick twin last night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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