I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
