omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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