I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
