New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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