Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
