theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
