Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
