I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
