His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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