The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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