That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
