I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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