we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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