sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize