Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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