love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
