Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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