I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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