Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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