At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have aggressive nipples.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
