You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
