I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
