the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were trust falling into bushes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
