Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
