Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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