Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
