I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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