I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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