The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
