Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize