I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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