First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
