Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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