Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
