Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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