I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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