forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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