Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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