I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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