I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
