Dude my mom stole all your condoms
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize