You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
