Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
