in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
