So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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