Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
