Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
