i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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