he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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