Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
