talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
