I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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