whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
