so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
