So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
