I can text with my tongue
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
