It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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