Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize