i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
