There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize