We're like a lot better than the average bears
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think people are normalizing furries
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize