Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
